I am not here to say the 2nd edition deserves another rating less than an M18, but the movie got me thinking about how I viewed friendship and ... well. romance. The movie definitely does nothing good to the consumerist society, no doubt. (the fashion is pretty much a good reason to catch the show, with a few exceptions on sarah jessica parker) But as I observed the relationship between Carrie and her husband, Mr. Big, I realised how critical and perhaps even, shallow my judgment of relationships are.
While watching the movie (and laughing a great deal all the while, many thanks to Samantha), I observed critically the fluctuating relationship between Carrie and Big which both desperately try to keep afloat. While both cared for one another genuinely, I wondered if their materialistic gains and need to appear like the 'all-rounded got-it-all-together NY couple' trumped a realistic romance simply based on emotions. In other words, I wondered if Carrie and Big tried to live the fairy-tale romance so much, they could not create real-life romance.
But what really is the fairy-tale romance? The one where starts of with 'Once upon a time', ends with 'Happily ever after' and have our fair, beautiful princess coupled with our crinkled-faced witch? That, as I realised, is the fairy-tale romance that 10 year-olds understand. But at 18 right now, in the 21st century, I realised I had created my own fairy-tale romance, thinking that outside this box, none checked my 'correct relationship' list.
So, at 18 years of age, my fairy-tale romance looks as such - A man and a woman, good christian family, loyal and loving. 2 children (or 4... yup, I am all about even numbers), homely home. The housewife, the man coming home to a warm meal at 7pm. The occasional family squabbles, the happy family picnics, throw in family devotions.. fast-forward 50 years, two loving retired couples sitting under the night sky, holding each other's hands, not saying a word, but in perfect harmony.
As I looked at Carrie and Big's marriage, where there was no children and a posh home that looked more like a hotel, I straightaway striked off this relationship as non-exemplary. But what did I know about relationships? Who was I to say this was right and wrong? As Carrie and Big said - They were adults, they were allowed to design their marriage that suited them best. If they realised that they needed 2 days a week off from each other, who was to say this was the inappropriate marriage? I guess there is that line to be drawn, where a marriage can't be unique as on the verge of turning unnatural. Yet, it was a rude awakening to me, realising that I had created my own version of a 'fairy-tale romance' and I needed to see reality.Perhaps, I need to start to picture- a family where the dad may not be around every day, only appearing once a month due to work overseas. A child that is rebellious and hates the family. And see that in all these, it is still a family. A family commissioned by God, and loved by the creator. I was watching supernanny, and I realised how apt it was.
What did I get from it? No don't worry, I am not in a fantasy that tells me even if I have a dysfunctional family, there is the light at the end of the tunnel. No, I think family problems are permanently existent, and often, the problems themselves are routinely consistent. I started off watching the first five minutes of the episode thinking, " good grief, this is a show that just encourages late marriage with no children. Bye bye government hopes of increasing the fertility rate" But I somehow stayed on, not fathoming why. The last five minutes, however, struck a chord.
The father said this, "I walked around before, not realising that the dream family I wanted was right under my nose"
I guess, while I have painted a fantasy picture of a family, this fantasy can be realised. What I needed to comprehend, was that this fantasy is going to be just a few rare moments, and most of the time - 98% of the time, pure torture. I remembered a line from the show - "The Back-up plan". This guy goes, "Most of the day I think, what the heck am I doing as a father? Then, there is that one moment, that makes me realise that it is all worth it". That guy is lucky, he gets one of those "fantasy" moments daily. Most of the week, these moments don't even get a whiff.
So how then? Are these rare moments of fantasy worthwhile? Should we just stay within the comfort zone? Don't marry, or if you do, stick to you and your partner. Heck, if developed countries have a lower fertility rate, other countries can make up for it. After all, why subject ourselves to the cries of children, invest our time in lives that could otherwise be spas, shopping and romantic get-aways?
We may never know. If i did, I could have solved a huge social problem. But at the last scene of supernanny, I got a clue. The 2 sisters sat in front of the camera; and suddenly, Lizzie the younger sister turned around and gave the elder sister a BIG HUG. and gave her a kiss. While there were no words exchanged, both faces lit up like angels. All of a sudden, all fighting, squabbling and hateful words evaporated from memory. At that moment, they were two sisters who loved one another and wouldn't exchange another to replace the other person.
So there. My dream family will never realise. I may have kids that possibly drive me crazy half the time. But then, I think that for a majority of parents... they would go through all the craziness to see that twinkle in the eye and the mega chocolate-smeared smile on their kid's face.
